Our outer life reflects what we carry inside us. So everything we encounter in life, be it positive or negative for us, has to do with the relationship with ourselves. Internal conflicts create conflicts on the outside. If we devalue ourselves, we are also devalued in our outside world by other people or by unfavorable circumstances and situations. If we do not like ourselves, other people often do not like us.

If we have an inner unconscious rage, it happens that someone lets out his anger at us. And so there are many more examples.

The beauty of this fact of reflection is that if we love ourselves, we are allowed to experience this love on all levels in outer life. This is reflected in fulfilment at all levels and in all areas of life. It manifests itself in a good way of life, in a fulfilling partnership, in good relations, in one’s own vocation, in prosperity and health. But how do you love yourself? It’s just said, “Love yourself!” But what can I actively do about it? How do I really love myself?

First of all, we need to be aware that we have everything in us to love and heal ourselves. This unconditional love that we seek, we all have at our core. We ourselves are this unconditional love. We ourselves can heal our wounded parts and give them the love they need.

Secondly can we observe how we deal with ourselves, how the dialogue with ourselves takes place: are we appreciative of ourselves? Can we motivate ourselves and rebuild ourselves after a defeat, or do we finish ourselves by criticizing or even insulting ourselves? Do we indulge in relaxation or do we put ourselves under constant pressure? We can consciously change these entrenched patterns of thought and behavior with the attention to them.

Third it is important that we learn to perceive and accept our own feelings. There is no point in fighting against what is. Do we listen to our feet? Do we take them seriously or do we ignore them? Do we listen to the different parts that speak in us? Do we listen to or suppress the needs they have? Do we have compassion for ourselves? Suppressed feelings can be caused by depression, obesity, addictions, physical ailments and other blockages. Perceiving one’s feelings better is also a matter of practice.

Fourthly, it is important that we deal with our childhood injuries. If we do not solve these, the painful issue in adulthood will be repeated again and again with new people. The same applies to negative patterns that were transmitted to us in early childhood. The way our parents treated us, we later have a tendency to treat ourselves. Take the example that a parent was demanding and there was pressure to perform, which made us feel like we weren’t good enough. So we continue to put ourselves under pressure and find that our performances are never really good enough. Often people with such patterns live past a fulfilled life and feel constantly driven.

A very effective exercise to find more about self-love is the so-called mirror exercise. Here you will find a free guide to this.

It’s much easier and faster than walking alone, with a professional escort. We all have blind spots that we cannot see on our own. I would be happy to accompany you specifically and lovingly on your way.

Mirror training takes an hour and is also wonderfully possible via Skype or zoom.

 

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