in 2012 I started to deal intensively with the topic of emotional healing. At that time I met only few people at the courses and seminars. Today, one could almost say that emotional healing has become a big a trend. The time seems to be really ripe for this. More and more people are looking for emotional healing, wanting to leave their pain from the past behind. Who does not want to be true to themselves, to live happily, freely, authentically and in his full strength? However, this is not true on its own. To do this, we must respond directly to our pain and begin to heal our childhood wounds. As long as the child in us has not healed his emotional injuries, the adult cannot be happy. Emotional healing and happiness experience are closely linked.
A happy person knows…
- To accept, promote and love oneself and others
- to live honestly and authentically
- to make your own decisions and take responsibility for them
- to develop his talents and to find his life’s work
- to meet the world with an open mind and heart
- Acknowledge the uniqueness of others and encourage them to make their own decisions and take responsibility
A happy person…
- goes with himself and others
- can forgive and learns from mistakes
- Brings patience to the healing and transformation process
- has a positive attitude to life and sees obstacles as challenges
- believe in the good in all living beings and in the fact that they are worth being loved.
The most important steps in the healing process:
- You take off your mask and share with others honestly.
- You admit the pain you’ve been hiding behind the mask for so long.
- You see the connection between your pain/origin wound and your behavioral patterns that have accompanied you since childhood.
- You cease to deceive yourself or others, and find your strength and destiny by expressing your talents and gifts.
Take off your mask
How often do we pretend to be happy when we are not? We deceive ourselves and others by putting on a mask behind which we hide our pain. When we put on a happy mask, our happiness is artificial and our pain is only suppressed. If you really want to be happy, it’s important to stand by your pain. How do you hide your pain from yourself and from others?
Meet your pain
If you find it hard to face your pain, look first at what will push your buttons. Who and what provokes you? And how do you react to it? Do you suppress your pain? Are you attacking? Do you close yourself emotionally and withdraw?
Find the origin of your pain
As you go deep within yourself, you will realize that your present pain has its origin in the past. Most of the time it goes back to childhood. If you want to heal your injury, you need to find its origin, understand this origin wound, and forgive it. Which situations in your life were most painful? When and where did you feel deeply hurt? And do you see a repetitive pattern or theme in your life?
All experience criticism, condemnation, attacks, breaches of trust, abandonment, etc. This is not about using our energies to blame others or to justify our anger. It is about healing our own wounds. We need to understand that others are hurting us because they have been hurt themselves. They only pass on what has been done to them. This in no way excuses their behaviour. Life will help them in their own way to make good their deeds, but that is their part and not ours. To heal, you have to look at your guilt and forgive yourself. You have to realize that you don’t deserve to be hurt, that nothing is wrong with you because this injury happened to you. You were neither bad nor worthless. In order to heal, you also have to let go of the feeling of shame that comes with the injury. You have to feel the pain and go through it to get back to your innocence.
Stop displacing your pain
It is often difficult to gain access to our pain because we have learned to displace it. Addiction and addiction develop as an attempt to live with our pain, but without curing it. It can be excessive use of drugs or alcohol to avoid the pain or we try to fill the void by eating, sex, games, social media, work etc. This can distract us from the pain for a while, but it doesn’t cause it to go. The more we ignore and push away our pain, the more counter-pressure is built up here until the pain breaks out like the eruption of a volcano. When we lose control of food, drug or alcohol use, addiction becomes part of our pain rather than covering it. This brings us to the point where the game is over and the pain is bleeding through our mask and becomes clearly visible to others.
Stop being a victim
Some people are disappointed with their experiences and have lost faith in themselves and others. They hold on to negative thinking, remain in fear and feel victimized. Our negative expectations and unwillingness to take the necessary steps to improve our lives lead to crippling inertia and powerlessness. In this way, we create the basis for further suffering and create a vicious circle. Stop blaming yourself or others.
Invest in you and in your life
Are you ready to work on your emotional healing and want to start developing your gifts and talents? Do you want to benefit in the long term or would you like a quick repair?
Start with the following steps:
Reflect your life and find your original wound. Accept your injury. It happened. You can’t make them disappear.
Stop running away from the pain. Start therapy (e.g. Journey Therapy). Seek help for your addictions so that you can face your pain directly. Share your suffering with others. You are not alone with your pain. At the same time, create a network of support by opening up to people and telling them honestly.
Confront the person who hurt you and forgive her. Write him or her a letter or make a voice recording. Get rid of all the anger and pain. Scream and hit the table properly. If you’ve left everything out, burn the letter or delete the recording.
Go ahead in your life. Leave the old life behind you and begin to create a new life.
Accept your gifts and begin to pass them on: each person has a special gift. If these energisednesses need to be further developed, take lessons, learn, become a master. Everyone has something to give. Focus on what gives you joy and is self-rejoicing and effortless. Take creative risks. Live your potential. Discover your sense of life. Give the world what you have to give!
I will be happy to help you on your journey!